The first time I met my friend Katy, I thought she was a total weirdo. She had earrings made out of soda can toppers, a T-Shirt with the name of some band I had never heard of, and pants that looked like they were from Goodwill (because they were.) I was a snotty kid from the 'burbs who was about as offbeat and original as a romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston, and I was upset that we were picked to be bed-mates at the Christian weekend retreat we were attending. It took me about two days and four conversations before I realized she was one of the coolest people I had ever met. Early into our friendship she vowed that before long, I'd be as weird as her. Sure enough, I had those soda can topper earrings for years, adopted her favorite band as my own, and when I gave the Maid of Honor toast at her wedding, I happily accepted defeat. It didn't take me long to figure out that nearly every good friend I've ever had has not started out that way. My high school best friend and I hated each other when we first met in elementary school, because we both were in love with the same boy. After we both realized that was fruitless (we both still love him - and his boyfriend) we became incredibly close. Another friend of mine pissed me off right off the bat by, get this, being too nice to me before she knew me. I thought she was weird because she invited me to hang out with her and her friends when I was new to the church and didn't know anyone, because that wasn't something I would do. Eventually we got so close that I had keys to her place. Even Ryan, my current best friend and boyfriend, had to work really hard at first to get me to like him. I thought he was cute enough when we first met, but kept him at arms length for months, because he was so different from me (thank God.)
Probably though the person that I am closest to that I have the least in common with is my sister Stephanie. First, there's the physical differences - she's taller, tanner, and about a million pounds lighter than me. Then there's the personality differences - she listens more than she talks, avoids conflict at any cost, and works out about as often as I stare longingly at the Cheetos in the vending machine at work. Don't even get me started on her baking business, and the fact that I once ruined a batch of cookies by confusing salt and flour. As far as our spiritual differences, a joke I frequently have made, when first talking to people about my desire to build a bridge between the gay community and the church, is that I wish God had given me an "easier" drama free ministry to pursue - preferably something involving orphans.
Ironically, feeding, educating, and housing orphans is exactly what my sister has felt called to recently do. She's already found an organization to get involved with, set up a donation site, held a fundraiser at a restaurant, and started planning a poker night with proceeds benefiting the cause. In the mean time, I've looked up good gay clubs in a town I want to visit, read lots of articles online, and occasionally texted my gay friends to let them know I'm too busy to hang out with them. She doesn't just make me look fatter - she makes me look eviler too.
I really don't believe in coincidences, and think that there is a reason for the less-than-conventional start to all my relationships.
God knows me, because God created me, and God knows that my greatest strength is also my greatest flaw. See, I'm incredibly bold and fearless when it comes to speaking my mind - whether it's about politics, religion, or my personal opinion about what someone should do in a certain situation. On the flip side, I have very little tact, frequently hurt people's feelings, and far too easily fall into the trap that tells me I am smart enough, funny enough, and strong enough to handle whatever comes my way - without God's help.
That's why it makes sense that every significant person in my life (not to mention every great thing that's ever happened to me - but that's for another post) has been someone that I at first wrote off. I, being the wise, all knowing, wisdom never failing superhuman that I ridiculously sometimes act like, would never, ever make the wrong judgment call about someone, right? HA! God, in His infinite wisdom, subtly and slowly showed me that if I just looked back long enough to see it, HE, not I, was the better judge of character when it came to my friends. That the people he was bringing into my life were just that - not people I myself chose to be close to (I never would have picked a sister that much thinner than me) but the people that He knew would teach me, better me, and help me to grow - shows how clueless I really was. And am. I love so many people that are in my life, and most of them wouldn't be if everything had been up to me.
There are times when I am fighting with my sister (like tonight) where I get angry that we're not more alike. It can be frustrating being related to someone so different from myself, because it takes extra effort to figure out what motivates her to do what she does. However, when I take the time to really think about it, I can't help but wonder at how, even though we're so incredibly different, we still love each other. Usually.
God easily amazes me when I take the chance to notice his physical wonders, like the mountains and valleys in the Earth; but with a little effort, I can be just as amazed at his smaller wonders - like the time and dedication he took when he created us as unique and individual beings. It's crazy that what starts as a fight in the kitchen with my sister, can four hours later turn into a spiritual revelation about the nature of God and how He works in my life.
But if she asks, don't tell Stephanie she had anything to do with this post. For crying out loud, the last thing that girl needs is another confirmation that she's awesome. I should tell her that the cookies she made tonight were terrible and made me sick.
It'd work if I was as good a liar as she is...
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